Saturday, August 26, 2006

Learning the lessons...again.

Ever have one of those days you end up feeling like such a rotten human being that your arms and legs are scraped and sore from you trying to crawl under the nearest rock!

Today was one of those days. Learning lessons over again that obviously haven't stuck very well even though I think I'm such a smartie-pants because I'm all grown-up and all that!

Today I RE-learned that I'm never too old to be a spoiled, selfish brat and that my mother is a person as well as my mother, and that I need to still be respectful to her even though I'm such a big-shot at 40!

Over the summer, my sister was home for about 5 weeks (that never happens) and we had a wonderful time joining forces and backing each other up and generally having a great time enjoying our mutual adoration club status. It's nice to be friends with my sister. It wasn't like that for the first 26 years of "us" and sometimes I feel like we're making up for lost time.

In particular, we were very opinionated in how to raise children (they are our own afterall) and how to inter-relate with all the other members of our family and friends, what behavior is appropriate and generally know all the answers to all the questions, just ask us!

Now, even though that may be true :), it doesn't discount the knowledge and experience of the older members of our family...our mother... and that she may actually have a point or an opinion or just deserve the opportunity to voice another perspective.

And, even though we may not agree with that different voice, it is still worthy of respect. Sometimes it's all in the delivery you know? Just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean you can be smarmy or snotty about it.

In the end, I found out today that some of our comments hurt our mother's feelings terribly and that she felt very gained up on. She even cried. Is there anything worse than hearing your mother cry because you were careless and didn't treat her and her point of view with love? Even if you don't agree, there must always be a way to treat others with love.

"Love one another as I have loved you."

Even though she is over it and forgave me, I think it will be awhile before I get over it - as it should be I suppose.

So, as I'm skulking around for the next few days, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible and trying to look before I leap...I mean speak, I can only hope that I'll be able to suffer through my hurt feelings from my own child (when that happens and I'm sure it will) as graciously as my Mom did.

Sometimes it boggles my mind how mean we can be to the people we love the most and who love us the most. Mind boggling!


NB...after this post I went to mass and guess what the second reading was about..."Love one another..." Kinda goose-bumpy!


Dianne said...

You know, my sister and I have to be careful of the same thing with our mom. I know she feels like we gang up on her too. I"ve been convicted that we need to do better honoring our mom. I don't have kids, but I wondered how I'd feel if the ones I gave my life for seemed to be against me at some point - ouch! I"m sure your mom forgave you, now I hope you can forgive yourself and hopefully find some ways to honor your mom too. Blessings.

Jennifer said...

I came over to read about your name from Barb's, but I saw this and wanted to read on. You're so right. I need to remember to be careful with my words and attitudes. A similar experience with family left me feeling sour inside. I needed to just shut my mouth and humble my spirit and I think I would have left feeling better.