Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My father died Sunday morning, November 16th, 2008.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

A long time away.

I've been away a long time.

My father was very unexpectedly ill in May - ultra-serious heart problems. Not quite healed, never will be, but much better. After almost six weeks of him in the hospital and his move back to the house, I got very sick with pneumonia and UTI (stress?) and then very sick with complications from the medications. Once that was finally over, we had our first ever and super-successful family reunion.

Now, it's all done and we're sort of back to normal. Once all the laundry is done :). Labour Day this long weekend and back to school the following Wednesday. I cannot believe she is starting grade nine. She is halfway through her braces and got contacts a few weeks ago. Turned 14. No more a "baby teenager".

I've kept up with reading my blogs. Just reading them has really helped with my personal chaos. The routine, the normalcy.

Hopefully once school is in, I will blog more frequently and more regularly. I'd like that for myself.

Summer is fading away.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I Love April

Four robins in the last week.

Feeling heat from the sun, not just enjoying the yellow.

Talky, chatty, singing, noisy birds.

Lost treasures found now that the snow has melted.

The snow is all gone.

If it snows again, which it probably will, it will go fast.

Crocuses...purple and yellow and white.

Spring jackets and crocs.

Wearing a sweatshirt and sneakers to school.

BBQ in the air.

Bikes on the lawn, driveway chalk and roller blades.

Washing the car - too bad it's not mine :)

April is the month with all of spring and summer ahead of it.

April is hope and beauty and newness and freshness.

Waking up with the sun and having daylight late after supper.

Sigh. I love April.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I gave up the internet for Lent.

This past Shrove Tuesday I was trying to think of something to give up for Lent. Chocolate and candy and junk are the old stand-bys, but I wanted to do something different. Last year I gave up making excuses for not exercising and just do it and that went very well. I also committed to praying while I walked, instead of listening to my Ipod, and there were some good conversations.

In the end, I decided to give up the internet. In fact, at the last moment, I decided to give it up. So last minute, in fact, that I couldn't even write a post about it.

No computer, except for emailing and banking and help with schoolwork - I didn't think I could notify the school, bank and emailers in time, nor would they care about my sacrifice.

It was a long 40 days. I had no idea how much time I spent in front of this screen...mostly just reading and surfing. It was automatic to go to it many times a day.

I missed the bloggers terribly and often wondered what was happening in their lives. Especially since I knew about upcoming events, ie: BooMama's trip, baby Avery and Easter. I thought about the bloggers a lot, knowing their lives were going on and I wasn't "in" on anything.

I learned I use the internet a lot for general information and fact-finding. Topics originating from conversations, TV shows, magazines and general news. Wikipedia is great and was sorely missed. For me, the computer has thoroughly replaced the phone book/yellow pages, watching weather forecasts, dictionary/thesauras books, encylopedias and any other type of resource material. It's my first stop to find anything.

At the same time, I also gave up watching daytime TV - even Oprah and Dr. Phil. Let me clarify, I have the TV on for company, I truly do, an old habit picked up from my Grandmother. So I tried to listen to the radio, which is a lot more local with information, and CDs or just quiet. The no daytime TV wasn't a part of lent, but it seemed to fit in with reducing the electronic bombardment.

So, what happened to me, aside from realizing my addiction to this very small screen?

I wish I could say that my life changed forever, in wonderful ways, but it didn't really. I read a lot more books which really isn't a good thing, as I read a lot already. I'm an obsessive reader, almost addict-like. When I have a good book, all I want to do is read and do nothing else. To the point when I could almost resent the intrusion of my life on my reading time. I try to read a little everyday, but I get so involved I don't want to let go. So all the extra time wasn't good in the beginning. I read compulsively for the first couple of weeks, but then I ended that.

I liked the quiet. That was nice. No white noise. It's amazing how noisy white noise is. I think that was the best part. Enjoying the quiet. I'm hoping I'll keep that up. And now that I know my tendency to sit and surf, I think I have to monitor that a bit more closely until new habits are formed.

One thing for sure is that I got to bed at a more reasonable hour on a more regular basis. That was good. And a trend I really should continue.

I think the thing that changed the most was that I spent more time in my life than in other people's. Nothing physically changed. I have to have a very low-key lifestyle to maintain a low stress level for health reasons. But mentally I was more present. Not emotionally, since unfortunately, I'm always present emotionally. Just mentally. Living my life, not reading about others' lives and (sometimes) living vicariously through them. That is a big thing for me. An active imagination is not always a good thing. It can take you out of your reality for too long and too far away. I was more present for me and then, I can only assume, for others.

That's not a new lesson for me. But one that is worth hearing again.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Nothing Much

Nothing much has been going on. You know, days of nothing and then it's weeks later and you wonder what happened to the time.

I think I have the flu. Did I catch a "virus" from bloggyville - I still find that funny :) Sort of dizzy and chilly and wobbly but nothing major for sure yet. It's indoors today, just poking around with laundry and bill paying, hoping to fight it off.

Same old here. Snow, then no snow. Now snow and FREEZING temps!!! BooMama's Alabama Freeze makes me chuckle - if only we had the Alabama Freeze!

I read Dina Matos McGreevey's book (Silent Partner: Memoir of a Marriage) on the weekend; the former wife of the former governor of New Jersey who gave the "gay American" speech. Easy read and very interesting. She certainly had a rough go of it, as I'm sure he did. I hope they can all recover.

Gotta go and put a sweater on, the chills have set in and I don't know if it's me or the -26 Celsius outdoors...brrrrr.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year's Day 2008

It's 2008.

It was beautiful and very sunny and not too cold.

Marly is getting over a cold and Frank has to go back to work tomorrow.

It's back to the routine of life.

My sister and brother-in-law will be house-hunting with a real estate agent tomorrow and will check out the surrounding areas. That is sort of surreal.

Will I find that perfect part-time, good paying, not interfering with my life job to pay for next year's hoped-for trip to Arizona? And maybe help to pay off some debts that any type of budgeting doesn't seem to fix.

Should I even be looking or just relish this time at home and not worry or wonder about the future and let Him do that? Or does that make me a dud expecting someone else to do the work? My eternal, unanswered question.

Today was beautiful and we are safe and together and loved and almost all well.